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<lj-cut text=""Stupid shit emo whiny rant"">Well, today's got to be a pretty good contender for Worst Day So Far.
Things weren't going too badly for most of the day today, even including the point where Joseph wouldn't stop crying for 15 minutes and then was sick all over his blankets. That wasn't really all that bad, though it added – as everything has been – to the now very high stress-o-meter.
This evening, though stress or hormones or depression or more likely all three, Eric cracked and cried for several hours. Despite my reassurances that in fact she was going to be a good mother and that we weren't getting everything wrong, I'm not sure she really improved much by the time I finally left. I'm hoping it will eventually be okay – we were both strong enough to get from ""holy shit we couldn't cope with a child it must be adopted"" to ""actually, we might make it after all"". I hope we'll make it through this too. However, the stress of trying to look after both Eric and Joseph is taking its toll on me too.
What with not leaving Eric until I was sure she'd be at least passably okay, and with letting the midwives know about what was going on, I ended up being too late to go to Tescos and buy actual dinner. I also ended up on the last bus home, waiting for which was significantly colder than waiting for earlier buses. Thus, I am freezing.
Now, I must do laundry – for all I do at home these days is laundry and eating of breakfast. Then, with luck, seven hours' of worrying-about-Eric sleep. And up again, back to the hospital for 10am for another 12 hours of pretending to be calm, confident and reassuring.
And paternity leave hasn't even begun yet.</lj-cut>